英语

Jokes About Animal
A cat with suspected Multiple Personality Disorder:
As an experienced veterinary psychologist, I have treated many cats for a wide variety of conditions, including Feline Factitious Disorder (F.F.D.), Siamese Schizophrenia, Generalized Angora Anxiety Syndrome (G.A.A.S.), Hysterical Hairballs, Catnip Dependence, Finicky Personality Disorder, and of course, MPD (usually known as Feline Dissociative Disorder, multiple type).

What small success I have had has been the product of rigorously applied Multiphasic Empathic Ontogenic Work (M.E.O.W.). It is demanding of both therapist and patient, but given sufficient motivation and an understanding owner, it is the only hope.

The first phase of treatment requires repeated application of Feline Exo-Empathic Dysphoric Mood Exercises (F.E.E.D.M.E.) until a stable period of at least one month has been established. The next phase begins the challenging of the fragmentation, and it entails the Lovingly Interpreted Transferential Topographic Entity Rapprochement By Observed Xenophobia maneuver (L.I.T.T.E.R.B.O.X.) in which the very fragmentation itself is made toxic to the cat. The final phase produces a single, intact personality through Positive Unified Reintegrated Reinforcement (P.U.R.R.), and though this phase can last upwards of two years, it is essential that it be performed unerringly with intensely focused purpose. A thorough exegesis of M.E.O.W. treatment can be found in my latest book, "Feline Analytic Theory & Character: Assessment and Technique" (F.A.T.C.A.T.).

Animals Need Protecting
Animals are natural resources that people have wasted all through our history. Animals have been killed for their fur and feathers, for food, for sport, and simply because they were in the way. Thousands of kinds of animals have disappeared from the earth forever. Hundreds more are on the danger list today. About 170 kinds in the United States aloneare considered in danger.
Why should people care? Because we need animals, and because once they are gone, there will never be any more.Animals are more than just beautiful or interesting. They are more than just a source of food. Every animal has its place in the balance of nature. Destroying one kind of animal can create many problems. For example, when farmers killed large numbers of hawks, the farmers' stores of corn and grain were destroyed by rats and mice. Why? Because hawks eat rats and mice, with no hawks to keep down their numbers, the rats and mice multiplied quickly.
Luckily, some people are working to help save the animals. Some groups raise money to let people know about the problem. And they try to get the governments to pass laws protecting animals in danger. Quite a few countries have passed laws. These laws forbid the killing of any animal or planton the danger list. Slowly, the number of some animals in danger is growing.

中文:
动物需要保护
动物是自然，在整个历史过程中，人类一直在糟蹋着这种。人们动物，获得它们的皮毛，把它们当作食物或运动方式，或者只是因为它们碍事。成千上万种动物已经从这个地球上永远地消失了。现在另外上百种动物也上了濒危动物。仅荚国大概就有170种被认为处于危险当中。
为什么人们应该感到担忧呢?因为我们需要动物，因为它们一旦消失，就永远不会再出现。动物不仅仅是漂亮或有趣。它们不仅仅是人类的食物来源。在维持自然平衡中，每种动物都有其作用。毁灭某种动物会导致许多问题。比如，农民们如果为数众多的，他们谷物和粮食的仓库就会受到老鼠和田鼠的破坏。 为什么?因为吃鼠类，没有控制它们的数量，鼠类就会迅速繁殖。
的是，有些人正在努力帮助拯救这些动物。有些组织筹钱以便人们了解这一问题。他们也努力使通过保护濒危动物的法律。很多已经通过了法律。这些法律禁止害濒危上的动植物。某些濒危动物的数目正在慢慢地不断上升。